


We Could Be Human

by Tex117



Category: Original Work
Genre: Original Character Death(s), Original Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 19:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4973599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tex117/pseuds/Tex117
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Author Note: So this is basically a back story, of a character I'm working on, and who I love dearly. Not entirely sure this kind of thing is posted here, but I wanted SOMETHING. And I'm really quite proud of it, so..<br/>So yeah. Any possible readers prooobably won't have any idea about this character. Like I said, this is a back story, of something that happened to him in the past, and made him who he is today (and who he is today, none of you will have a clue.) SO YEAH!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Could Be Human

"He's gone.."  
"What are you talking about?! He's fine!"  
"South.."  
"No! He's fine. Can't you see? Look!"  
_Don't do this._  
"Don't.. Don't you look at me like that! I can't.. He's okay! He's not- Inias, please.."  
"I'm so fuckin' sorry.."  
"Shut up! Inias! Wake up. Please! Wake up!"  
"South! Stop!"  
"It was working! Church, it was working! Why won't he wake up?!"

_*_

_Three weeks of watching her, and she's a broken shell of herself. You can't stop it, you never could. Everything you've ever done is meaningless because she's gone. So far inside her own mind, you're not sure she'll ever come back from this. And you've tried. Not good enough. Nothing you ever do is good enough. And you feel the pain she's feeling, like a thrumming inside your own head, an itch you can't scratch, and this is the first time in your life you ever wonder what it would be like if she were gone. It hurts.  
Her pain is deafening._

She's in her room again. Hasn't left for days. Hasn't eaten, hasn't slept. He can see it on her face when he goes to check on her. Blue eyes meeting from across the room, and they're so much like his own, the only thing they share in the way of looks, but hers are dead. Staring blankly up at him like she doesn't even know he's there. He doesn't think she does. He tries talking. About nothing in particular; the weather, his bike, how he'd make her spaghetti bolognaise if she wanted. She never granted him a reaction. He left. Sleep, eat, repeat. 

_*_

"I know what to do now.."  
"South, what? When did you.."  
"I know. I know what to do."  
"What are you talkin' about..? South, come on. Come eat somethin'. You ain't eaten in days."  
"You're not listening. I know how to fix it."  
"Fix what?"  
"Us."

*

He didn't want this. Not ever. And he'd never really had a problem with what he was. That was everyone elses job. He was used to the disgust. The looks they'd given him when he was a kid. And at first, they'd hurt. But he'd never wanted this.

"We could be human.." she'd said, in that hollow voice that wasn't hers, unfamiliar and broken.  
"No. We can't, South. I don't want that" She was staring at him, now. A blank look like before, the small glint fading from her eyes at the idea that, he didn't want this like she did.  
"You don't know what you want." And then she was gone. Church stared after her, numb. He knew this feeling, it was dread.w this feeling, it was dread.

 

*

"Inias.. Inias.. Inias.. Inias."

*

For weeks on end she would sit in her room. A chant of a name under her breath. And all he could do was watch, try to snap her out of it. And then there were the days that she'd look at him, good and proper, and try to convince him that being human was something they desperately needed. He shot her down each time.  
Until he didn't have a choice.

_Hey, remember when we were kids. After I got away an' found you? An' we would spend each night lookin' up at the stars, an' wondering what we were gonna do with our lives. We wondered if we'd ever mean somethin'. If we'd always be by each others side. We wondered at the world, and why things were the way they were. But we had each other. Through everything, we had each other._

He wasn't expecting it. He was caught off guard. How could he have known she'd be in so deep? That she'd do something like that to him? Looking back, it was glaringly obvious. But he still hadn't known. Or maybe, he hadn't wanted to.

*

"If we're human, we could die. Right here, right now. Please. I want this. I want him."

 

Everything hurt. His head, his arms, but most of all, his back. There was an ache throughout his whole body, a dull, throbbing pain. And he didn't know where he was, eyes squeezing shut against the glare of sunlight through the cracks in the blinds. This was all wrong. A buzzing in his ears and a pounding behind his eyes, he tried to move.  
_Agony._  
He would have wailed had his voice complied but instead, his vision washed to white, and he slumped back down with a whimper. 

"It's okay. I fixed us. We're all better now.. All better."  
_Nothing about this is okay._  
"South..? What.. What're you doin'..?"  
"We're all better now." He felt sick. Felt hands press against his cheek and he flinched away from them, from her. From the woman his sister had become. His shoulderblades burned in protest at the movement, and he was scared to look - to turn his head and see nothing behind him. He did it anyway.  
_Nothing._  
Just blood and flesh, and the ghostly feel of what was no longer there. She'd taken his wings.  
"You see it, don't you? Look how far we've come, Church."  
He saw nothing.

 

*

"Why are we still like this?!"  
_Because clipping our wings was never going to change anything.._  
"I can't take this anymore. I can't do it. I just want.. I just want it to be over."  
_I can't help you._  
"Hey.. Church..? Do you think, if I died.. you would feel it..?"  
_Don't ask me that._

*

Adjusting was difficult. After all is said and done, you have to live with the consequences of your actions. This wasn't living. This was torture. Watching her and knowing this was it. This is what she's become, and she's not coming back. He couldn't save her. He had nothing left to give.

She had a gun in her hands and it was aimed toward his face.  
"It's going to be okay. At least.. at least we'll have each other. Right Church?"  
They'd always known there was no heaven waiting for them at the end of the line. There was only the pits of hell and the creatures that came with it. Tainted blood didn't qualify for a passport through the golden gates. They'd known that.

"I don't want to die.." 

"I don't want to live." 

__

*

 

We were both left on a doorstep. Do you remember that, Church? Me, too. Why can't we forget? Why are these things so ingrained so deep inside our brains that they can't ever be washed away, or scrubbed clean? Do you think it's because of him? It doesn't matter.  
You found me. I remember, because you were running from something. And you put your finger to your lips and told me I had to be quiet, or they'd know. I'd never seen you before. But I knew those wings, and those eyes. Those eyes like mine. I wasn't scared because I knew you. My darling big brother to the rescue. 

*

She was weeping. Wrecked sobs tearing from her throat and he could do nothing but stare. At the gun, at her face, at the hand pulling at her own blonde hair. Tears streaked her cheeks and it hurt to see her like that. A remnant.  
She shoved the gun into his hands. Curled her fingers around his, positioned them just right, pressing his finger lightly to the trigger.  
And then she was pressing the gun to her own head.

"No.. No, South, please.." His chest constricted, like arms were squeezing around him too tightly, and he couldn't breathe. 

"I can't. I can't." she was shaking her head, and tears were falling from her eyes. "I hurt you. I hurt you so much, even knowing you didn't want it. I can't fix it." 

"You don't gotta.. I'm- I'm okay, see? I'm right here." 

"I can't fix it. I deserve this. I don't want to live like this anymore. Don't you understand? He's gone. He's not coming back. And I hurt you." Blue eyes met, and through the pounding in his skull, he heard her whispered plea, and he knew. This was it.

She squeezed his finger down on the trigger. 

Her head snapped back with the blow.

_*_

_You were always there for me, after that. And we never had much, but we had each other. I wouldn't change you for the world. Maybe heaven for us isn't a pipe dream afterall? Maybe it's right here, in the good we do. Maybe heaven is in the people we meet. Hang onto yours, when you find it. Okay, Church?_

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm told my tenses change, which I apologise for, in advance. I haven't looked over this all properly, so yeah, there's probably a long list of things wrong with it.
> 
> And also, this probably made no sense to anyone who reads it. That's.. partially to do with the fact that it was originally posted in three short parts, and time moves on between the original posts, so yeah. SORRYNOTSORRY


End file.
